by Rachel Venning (originally published in On Our Backs Magazine)

Sucking strap-on cock is both a psychological and physical art. As far as our silicone dicks go, we harness-wearers are somewhat lacking in the nerve-ending department... but what we lack neurologically, we make up for in imagination and enthusiasm.

What's the Appeal?

If I had a quarter for every time a dyke looking for her first strap-on (often at her girlfriend's urging) asked me "what's in it for me?", I'd have enough for a hand-me-down Harley. The strap-on blow job is the ultimate in gender-bending sex theater, because really, what's in it for anyone? The answer is the old truism that our biggest sex organ is between our ears. The point is desire. The idea, the visual thrill, the feeling of power, and the unique physical sensations all combine to make our motors rev.

The person on either side of the dick is in a position no romantic comedy or high school sex ed has prepared you for — so don't be surprised if self-consciousness sets in. If you haven't done it before, you may find yourself thinking something along the lines of "this is weird." Let the thought come up and like a master of meditation, let it go. You're doing this because it feels good to you or because you like watching your lover's head bob diligently up and down your shaft. Get into the perverse thrill, and when you've both come hard, give yourselves a pat on the back for being brave. It ain't easy being a dirty-minded sex freak (but at least it's not lonely).

Get Going

For this session of "swallow the sausage," here are some tips from both sides of the harness to make the scene go down easy.

1. Use a realistic cock. Blow jobs are no time to surprise your sweetie with one of those lavender dolphin dildos from the eighties, cute though they are. For decent dick-sucking, you need a sexy number with a clearly defined shaft and head, and veins and balls if possible. Some dildo recommendations: Goodfella, Bandit, or Adam.
2. When you strap on the dick, take a few moments of private time to really connect with it. Touch and rub it. If you're packing, enjoy the feel of it pressing against your pants. Make sure that the base of the cock is right where it feels the most solid connection to your body.
3. Think psychic dick. Although it's not a flesh-and-blood penis, your mind can have a hard-on that's as raging as anyone's. The dildo is the physical expression of a psychic reality, and that dick can feel fantastic, rubber or not.
4. Do it somewhere nasty.Something about cocksucking calls for dark alleys, bathroom stalls, and parked cars. Let the staging add to the sexiness.
5. Put on a good visual show. When you're sucking, remember that your playmate is getting off largely on imagination and the look of your hands, mouth, tongue and head. So make sure there are good sight lines and keep your actions visible.
6. Use your hand to push the base of the dick into your lover's cunt. The most physical sensation for the receiver is going to come from that one point of contact, so make it work. Rhythmically thrusting with your hand along the shaft into the base while working the head in and out of your mouth gives both a visual and a physical thrill. Another good reason to hang on to the base of the dildo is to control the depth of the thrusts.
7. If you can deep throat, do it. No matter what anyone's gender, that's always impressive and exciting.
8. Treat the dildo like a real penis. Focus on the things that feel good to flesh-and-blood cocks: stroke the vein along the bottom, tongue the slit, gently tickle the balls.
9. Add condoms. If you like using condoms to keep the dildo clean, perhaps because it might go from mouth to cunt to ass (and back again), it's a great opportunity to show off that safe sex 101 trick in which you roll the condom on with your mouth. Practice first. Try an unlubricated condom like the Colored Trustex, or a flavored unlubricated condom like the Kiss of Mint.
10. Feel the buzz. If you want more genital stimulation than the psychic thrill or the base of the dildo pushing into your vulva can provide, consider tucking a small vibrating bullet-shaped vibrator between your harness and your clit. The Spareparts Joque Harness has two built-in pouches for just this purpose.
11. Options.Some girls won't mind if you slip some fingers in her pussy while you're blowing her. Others might find that upsets their psychic gender-bending state. So check in. And for many, a finger in the ass is a perfect complement to any blow job.