by Alicia Guinn
Sex toys are great tools for disabled people. In fact, silicone dildos (the cr�me de la cr�me of dildos) were created in 1971 by Gosnell Duncan, who made them from medical-grade silicone for people in the disabled community. What follows are Babeland's top tips for selecting and using sex toys, tailored to the needs of people with various disabilities. So go ahead and try incorporating toys into your sexual repertoire, whether you're a timid beginner or an old pro looking to spice things up. If you want a more comprehensive discussion, pick up the excellent The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability.
Honoryour Perspective. Claire Sainsbury's article "No Big Deal (Sex and Disability)"on Scarleteen puts itperfectly: "In a way, having a disability can actually become a positiveadvantage when it comes to sex. It means that you need to learn how tocommunicate and be up-front about what works for you and what doesn't. Havingto change and adapt the standard 'script' means you have to be flexible andcreative. And you have to focus on what actually feels best for you and yourpartner, instead of getting hung up about what's 'normal' or how you're'supposed' to have sex. And those are the real secrets of great sex foreverybody."
BeCreative. "My number-one tip for people withdisabilities is: be creative," says Eva Sweeney of Queers on Wheels, a non-profit thatliberates and empowers physically disabled folks with sex-positive informationand support. Think about adapting toysyou see in a store or online. Will a different position resolve the pain you'reexperiencing? Will that vibrator workbetter for you if you prop it up against a pillow? Will that dildo rock once it's strapped intoa harness and attached to a chair?
ConsiderYour Needs. "Disability" encompasses a huge range of issuesas far as sex toys are concerned. Maybe you're deaf and you want to ensure thatyour hearing housemates won't detect the buzz of your new vibrator. Maybe motorcontrol is an issue, and you want a toy that's easy to hold or strap to yourfinger/hand.Maybe you havechemical sensitivities, and you're worried about the ingredients in sex toymaterials. Maybe you have decreasedsensation, and you want a toy that provides stronger vibration. Knowing whatyou need will make shopping a cinch!
Special Concerns. There are some special concerns related to sex toys forfolks with disabilities. People withspinal cord injuries (and their partners) should know about AutonomicDysreflexia, a dangerous bodily reaction that can result from sexualactivity or using a vibrator. People with chemical sensitivities or allergies shouldbecome experts in sex toy materials — orlet us be the experts for you!
AskQuestions. If you're shopping online and want moreinformation about how much a toy weighs, how noisy it is, or exactly how theswitch works, you can always contact Babeland Customer Service over e-mail or on the phone. Don't be afraid toask a question, no matter how strange it may seem. Everyone has different preferences and needs when it comes to sex toys.We want to help you find something that will work for you!
ThinkAbout Materials. Sex toy materials are a concern for everyone. They'reespecially a concern for folks with allergies or chemical sensitivities, andfor people worried about easy (or discreet) cleanup. The easiest way to keep asex toy reliably clean is to put a condom on it. ColoredTrustex Condoms are great for toys because they're not lubricated. Just usethe lube of your choice on the outside, and cleanup is a snap! Siliconetoys are hypo-allergenic, medical-grade, and non-porous. They can be cleanedwith regular soap and water, popped in the dishwasher, or boiled to ensure thatthey're disinfected.
Hands-freetoys. Hands-free toys are of special interest to some disabled folks. The Love Bumper, used with or without a vibrator like the Mystic Wand or Hitachi Magic Wand, allows you to position/prop your body up for various positions; it's gotten rave reviews from some of ourcustomers with limited mobility or arm/leg strength. Leo is a 100% siliconedildo that suctions to any smooth, hard surface — a chair? the shower wall? — for hands-free use. Butt plugs in general are designed to behands-free. The Little Flirt is a slim plug that's perfect for first-time anal play. Anerostoys are patented prostate massagers that rock in your body as you squeeze yourPC muscles.
WearIt!Wearable toys like the Fukuoku andthe Babeland Remote Vibe Panty can be creative alternatives to conventional vibrators. Vibrating cock ringslike the SonicRing Kit can be attached to a penis, another toy or to a hand. If your fingers get tired during masturbation, afinger vibe is the perfect way save yourself from tired, strained handsand fingers.Strap-ons area whole new world in wearable sex toys. Dildo harnesses are equal-opportunity sex toys that can be used byanyone who wants to penetrate a partner. For those with limited hip/leg mobility, the Thigh Harness allows for the wearing partner to remain stationary, while the penetrated partner straddles the dildo-ed thigh. Imagine the possibilities!
ExtendYour Reach. Sometimes all you need is a toy that helps youreach a little further. The Babeland Orchid G and the Fun Wand havelong, curved handles for an easier reach whether you're aiming for your ownbody or your partner's. The rockin' vibrations of the HitachiMagic Wand are a blessing for anyone who wants stronger sensations. It'salso a great choice because it distributes vibration over a wide area, which means you don't need pin-point accuracy in placing it directly on or near theclit. (Some people joke that it's an effective vibrator just lying in the bednext to you!)
PlayWith Sensation. Some folks yearn for kinky play. Others mightbe curious about investigating the world of SM to explore new, strongersensations. If you have decreased sensation and you're at the receiving end ofa flogger, clamp, pump,or bondage restraint, make sureboth you and your partner follow basic safety rules and keep on top of physicalwarning signs like cold hands or feet, which can signal loss of circulation.
FurtherResources:
- Sex Toys101
- No Big Deal (Sex andDisability) by Claire Sainsbury
- Sex andDisability at About.com
- TheUltimate Guide to Sex and Disability
