The Chicago Sun-Times recently reported that women who eat chocolate every day have better sex lives. (Can you imagine being asked to take part in this study?) I?m imagining this scene in the ?lab? with me as the test case:

Professional Scientist: ?Well Ms. Vulva, you?ve just eaten a delicious cupcake and some of this Godiva ice cream and had sex. Did you like it??

Ms. Vulva: ?Gee, I?m not sure? I?m starting to develop a hypothesis, but it?s not quite yet a theory. I think I need to test it out some more. Could you pass the lube? And the Caramello bars??

Yeah, I want to participate! Why didn?t anyone alert me about this study? I?m really good at research, especially when it involves chocolate and sex at the same time.But wait?not at the SAME-same time. When mixing cocoa and body parts, I know you?ve got to be careful not to get the sweet stuff in your especially sweet spots, ladies. Sugar and vaginas don?t play well together for those who are prone to yeast infections.

It is possible, however to do simultaneous choco-sex to some degree: try a sumptuous (a favorite adjective of mine) body bar, made with real cocoa butter, for a rich and creamy massage, or slather some 100% edible Lover's Paintbox chocolate on your buddy's body to conduct your own study. Anything in the name of science!