We're pretty sure that it was the queers who invented sex toys — and if we didn't invent them, at the very least, we perfected their use. And made them safe for the rest of the world. And added the sparkles. After all, we do many of the things straight folks do — we just do it with more accessories. So if you consider yourself gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersex, transgender, queer, or questioning and you haven't gotten around to sex toys, here's a quick overview of the basics (read it quick before they take your gay card away). And if you I.D. as straight-but-not-narrow, then, sugar, there's something here for you, too.

* Generation Penetration. Aim for the G-spot with the functional (and finger-extending) Two Dildo or elegant Pure Wand. Looking for something a little more realistic? Nothing feels finer than an uber-realistic Vixskin dildo — try the Bandit or the Goodfella. And don't forget a healthy squirt of BabeLube Natural lubricant to slick things up.

* Going down? If you're heading downtown for a bite to eat, bring along some super-tasty and body-friendly BabeLicious Flavored Lube. Neck and tongue sore from all that lovin'? Prop them into a neck-friendly position with the Love Bumper, which also conveniently holds a vibrator in its pocket. Or slide on a Vibrating Cock Ring to finish things off. If they like a little penetration during oral sex, the gorgeous, sculpted Fling Dildo curves out of the way so you won't bruise your chin.

* Ride, Sally Ride. Get your dick and then get in the saddle with a classic harness like the bestselling Joque Harness or the classic Jaguar Harness. Bigger folks will appreciate the clever design of the Crown Harness. What's in it for you? A little buzz with the Buzz Me Tender. And get your bump and grind on like any good lezzie with the hump-friendly Thigh Harness.

* Seeing Double. No, we don't mean couples who dress alike. Really. We mean double dildo action (and guys, it can work for you, too...). Try it with the realistic-looking Realdoe if that's your cuppa tea, or slide onto the perfectly-curved Share.

* Freedom Rings. They don't come in all the rainbow colors, but you'll still be loud and proud wearing cock-constricting Nitrile Stretch Cock Rings — they stretch a little, but hold on tight for great sensation. And couples of all genders will appreciate the added buzz from a Duet Vibrating Cock Ring.

* Butt Seriously. Get into the groove with beginner butt toys like Little Flirt plugs or the graduated spheres of Ripple 1 or 2. Size kings and queens will get their fill — and stroke the prostate — with the superbly designed Aneros, the heavy, stainless steel Pfun Plug, or the rechargeable, silicone Duke Vibrating Prostate Stimulator.

* Different Strokes. Guys can get off cheap and easy with the extra-comfortable, really stretchy Tenga Egg. For a more intense ride, ease on into the Tenga Flip, or get pumped up with the Big Daddy Pump. Looking for lube in all the wrong places? Get wet with super-silky BabeLube Silicone (not for use with silicone toys).

* Pack it Up or Pump it Up. Trans men, gender-variant, and genderfluid folks can get packing with the realistic looking Mr. Right or the Soft Pack. How're they hanging? Just right, thanks to the fabulous Pete Packer Underwear collection. If you want to pack and play, try the super-flexible Mr. Bendy paired with the excellent Undercover Harness. Or pump up your bits with the Pump and Cylinders Kit (also great on nipples). By Ann Whidden Ring.

* Butt Seriously. Get into the groove with beginner butt toys like Little Flirt plugs or the graduated spheres of Ripple 1 or 2. Size kings and queens will get their fill — and stroke the prostate — with the superbly designed Aneros, the heavy, stainless steel Pfun Plug, or the rechargeable, silicone Duke Vibrating Prostate Stimulator.

* Different Strokes. Guys can get off cheap and easy with the extra-comfortable, really stretchy Tenga Egg. For a more intense ride, ease on into the Tenga Flip, or get pumped up with the Big Daddy Pump. Looking for lube in all the wrong places? Get wet with super-silky BabeLube Silicone (not for use with silicone toys).

* Pack it Up or Pump it Up. Trans men, gender-variant, and genderfluid folks can get packing with the realistic looking Mr. Right or the Soft Pack. How're they hanging? Just right, thanks to the fabulous Pete Packer Underwear collection. If you want to pack and play, try the super-flexible Mr. Bendy paired with the excellent Undercover Harness. Or pump up your bits with the Pump and Cylinders Kit (also great on nipples).

By Ann Whidden