Waiting for Rain
Dear Rachel and Claire,
My partner and I are interested in female ejaculation. Is it possible for any woman to ejaculate, or do only certain women ejaculate? Our friends think that it is simply a matter of hitting the right spot and being able to relax and enjoy it. I am of the opinion that only certain women can do it. In addition do you know any reliable sources of information about this subject?
Signed,
Waiting for Rain
A:
Dear Waiting for Rain,
Every woman has a G-spot (the actual technical name is “urethral sponge”), but not all are thrilled by G-spot stimulation. And not every woman who likes G-spot play does ejaculate. Female ejaculation itself varies from a trickle to a gush. It can happen when the G-spot gets attention that involves rhythmic thumping. Fucking with fingers, toys, dildos, or dicks can bring on the spurting. Here are some quick tips to help it happen:
- Arousal is required, so get as turned on as possible. There is no point chasing down this experience unless the hunt itself is fun.
- Empty your bladder before sex and during sex, if you need to. Be willing to let go. Female ejaculate comes out of the urethra, and many women hold back their come for fear of peeing in the bed.
- Aim for the G-spot. Curve your fingers, used a curved toy, or arrange your position to maximize G-spot contact. Rear entry positions work well.
The book The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-Spot is a fantastic resource that explains a part of the female anatomy that seems as shrouded in mystery as the oracle at Delphi. The Clitoral Truth is also wonderful: this book gets into both how it happens and the weird debates surrounding female ejaculation. They are my two favorite sex books of all the many, many sex guides I have read.
For your viewing pleasure, check out G Marks the Spot, or the classic How to Female Ejaculate, which despite dated fashion, has some incredible, timeless female come shots. And there is more G-spot info on our site in the Sex Info section on the G-spot, and the article How to Find Your G-spot.