Waiting Until Marriage

Dear Rachel and Claire,

I've never had intercourse with anyone. I was brought up in a religious household and feel that I should not engage in intercourse until marriage.  I have lots of fantasies and urges. My friends say that I should use a vibrator but I'm not quite sure. Is there anything I could do to combat my urges?  Secondly, is using a vibrator rated the same has having pre-marital sex?

-Horny and Confused

A:

Dear Horny & Confused,

Writing to Babeland for advice on how to repress sexual urges is like asking the pope for sex tips.

But since you asked… There is no reason to combat your sexual feelings; they are a natural and enjoyable part of being human. If you’re determined to postpone intercourse, that doesn’t mean you should postpone pleasure. In fact, time spent learning to please yourself now may help you and your future mate to have a much more satisfying sex life, because you won’t be a timid virgin who has no idea what she wants or what feels good, but an eager virgin who knows how to have satisfying orgasms and who has nurtured a fantasy life that is ready to be realized.

Pre-marital vibration is not the same as having pre-marital intercourse, because it doesn’t involve another person. I imagine the point of “saving yourself for marriage” is to share something with your spouse that you haven’t shared with another person. No vibrator can compete with a flesh and blood lover, soulmate, partner, and friend, so buzz away as voraciously as you like and still flaunt that white on your wedding day. A classic toy to start with is the Hitachi Magic Wand.