Make an Impact: Spanking + Impact Play 101

Ready for some hanky spanky? Let’s talk about one of the pillars of BDSM: impact play.

Impact play is the art of hitting the body to create pleasurable sensations and/or to heighten the energy of a BDSM scene. If you’re a person that enjoys when your partner slaps your ass during sex, gives you a little flick with a towel post-shower, or takes a thwack with a spatula when you get caught licking the bowl while they're cooking – well, impact play may just be the play for you.

When we talk about the types of sensations of impact, we usually cover two categories: Thuddy and Stingy.

Categorizing these sensations by no means is to say that you can ONLY enjoy one or the other, but does help many folks in negotiating for (and getting!) the specific type of smack they'd like when playing.

Does the crack of a whip (or a wet towel) excite you? The sting of an impact toy like a crop, whip, or cane across the ass is indeed a unique and intense sensation. These types of toys focus on pinpointed, topical stimulation, giving that sharp bite that so many love.

Maybe you prefer the sensation of a deep pounding across your back and thighs by a larger strap, a heavy flogger, or even the feeling of a wind-up and thump of a sexy pillow fight. If so, you might be one to try some more thuddy feels. With more surface area covered, the impact gets diffused and feels more like a thump than a snap.

Impact play is very physical, and can get pretty intense – so safety is key. When it comes to striking the body, there are some very important things to consider, starting with where to hit:

Note: This is a template - all bodies are different. Someone may still not like being firmly impacted even on green zones, so always practice ongoing consent and communication with any impact play.

When doling out some impact play, you want to focus on hitting areas of the body that are fleshy/muscle vs areas that are over internal organs, joints, bones, or arteries – this is why plush cheeks and thighs are ideal for some pleasurable punishments. The shoulder blades are another great zone for floggers, crops and other impact toys to hit and caress the back while being mindful to avoid the spine.

If you prefer being hands on, you can experiment with spanking over someone's ass, thighs, and breasts, having been given the proper go-ahead from them first of course (though take it very easy on enhanced breasts). Try it with open fingers, closed flat palms, or even cupped palms – you’ll hear a difference in the sound, which can add an extra level of auditory kinkiness. Notice the difference in feeling when you quickly strike and pull away vs hitting the body and firmly pressing into it after.

If you want to add some products to your impact arsenal, you're gonna want to make sure you learn how to properly use them. One great way to practice is to do so alone. Use a pillow at home and make a few target spots on it that you want to practice aiming for, then take your crop or flogger and see if you can consistently hit those markers. Pay attention to how close or far away you have to be from the pillow to wield your tool and hit it correctly.

Floggers are best used in a figure-8 motion to control the tails so they all fall together, not splaying out every which way. Crops, paddles, spankers, and slappers will all feel different based on size, shape, and material. Some might have a softer side for alternating sensations. Depending on the shape of the product, it might also leave an imprint of itself or a message on the skin, which can be hot in the moment, and as a reminder in the morning of the fun that was had.

As with any play – especially when you’re just trying things out - make sure to check in with your partner throughout. Communicate, talk, and dirty talk to find out which sensations they enjoy the most, and how well their pain tolerance is holding up. An easy way to do this is by asking on a scale of 1-10 how intense it feels or how much pain they are looking to take in this scene. And remember - you always have the option to use a safeword if you want the scene to end, or if you need take a pause at any time for any reason. Slow and steady finds the perfect spank ;)

If you wanna level up the impact of your impact play, be sure to check out the great selection of how-to books on BDSM & kink to learn more about these types of play and beyond. Now, go get slap happy!