Self-Service: Masturbating the Penis

Different strokes for different folks, or however you touch yourself.

When we think of solo play for the penis, many folks immediately picture the culturally recognizable idea of a hand, maybe some lotion, possibly even tissues or a sock. While getting handsy with yourself is definitely a great way to get down by yourself, pleasuring the penis solo doesn’t need to be restricted to just you and your hand.

This Masturbation May, we want to use those same hands to open the door to new techniques, tools, tips, and tricks so that you can find the perfect way to get yourself off.

Bring the vibes. Often, vibrators are associated with clits – and though many are designed and marketed towards that body part, it doesn’t mean that’s the only place where can feel great! The penis (especially the head) and the clitoris are homologous - meaning they are of similar tissue and can function/feel very similarly. They are both richly endowed with nerves that sense vibration and respond pleasurably to it. If you haven’t tried using a vibrator on the penis before, consider this an invitation.

There are vibrators designed just for penises as well! Keep your hands free for other movements by wearing a vibrating cock ring, add some stimulation to the balls with a vibrator designed for the testicles, or even add in double the fun with a vibrating anal toy for some back door sensation.

Soft can be sensational. You don’t have to be at full mast to experience pleasure. For cis men of any age, you may find that your desire and sexual appetite don’t always align with your ability to get or maintain an erection. And for many transfeminine folks, being on HRT can often mean finding difficulty in staying stiff. Vibrators like the Magic Wand have been a friend to many a frenulum and phallus for decades and are enjoyed all over the shaft and head regardless of erection, while also being perfect for perineum placement. Toys that have a shape to cup the shaft - like the Manta or the Pulse Solo - allow for use even when the penis isn’t erect, letting the toy surround the shaft and provide sensation with or without an erection.

Lube isn't just for penetration. If there’s one essential for a nightstand drawer, it’s lube. While the slippery stuff is super useful for partnered play, lubricant can make any stroke feel slicker and smoother for longer, harder play. It also can make a world of difference if you’re using any type of toy like a vibe or stroker.

Stroke Creams work nicely for external use because they are usually made of oil- just don’t get it near your latex condoms. Silicone lube is awesome for stoke play, especially if you’re into having your solo sesh in the shower, as it’s waterproof and won’t rinse away quickly.

While we won’t shame anyone for having a bottle of drug-store lotion ready for their “me time”, you’ll want to avoid using lotions or petroleum jellies if you’re using safer sex barriers like condoms, and they could cause irritation if used vaginally or anally. So, we say treat yourself to an upgrade that’s designed for sexy time, not chapped skin.

Take time for yourself. Quickies can be fun (and efficient) but it's certainly not the only method available. So many of us learned masturbation by trying to reach a goal right out of the gate- but you also deserve slowness, tenderness, and exploration. Try experimenting with longer sessions and more intentional time finding new rhythms. This can be done with edging, or taking yourself close to the edge…and pausing to linger in the sensation and rebuild.

Romance yourself! Read some erotica, put on a playlist that gets you going, dip into a warm bath – remember, you deserve to feel great and treat yourself and your body right

Your body is amazing. Whether we’re talking about body size, height, cock size or shape, your body is deserving of pleasure! Try not to critique or focus on yours or other’s body ideals/goals but rather appreciate the body you have right now. That body has taken you through your whole life so far and is present to carry you even further. Take some time to just show it some love and celebration.