Exploring New Sex Positions

One of the easiest ways to spice up your bedroom routine - whether you’re playing solo or with a partner - is to explore new sex positions. Sure, having a go-to favorite position can be incredible, but simply shifting the way our bodies move when we’re seeking out pleasure can be a game-changer on so many fronts.

How can trying new positions benefit my sex life?

Even the smallest change to our sexual norm can create a domino effect that completely shifts our entire experience, and can unlock new and exciting possibilities for pleasure - and maybe even help you find new types of orgasm.

Break your routine

One of the most common things we hear when talking about “sexual ruts” is feeling stuck in a routine. It can be nice to have a reliable default position that we know works for us, but keeping your play to just that one position can limit you from experiencing new types of sensation. Beyond that, our bodies can get used to the stimulation from a single position, meaning that we may not be as in tune with our bodies if there’s nothing that’s keeping our attention. Sex can begin to feel formulaic, and we can even find that it can become harder to reach climax over time from the same stimulation without any variety.

Experience new sensations

Even if the way that you’re playing stays the same, moving our bodies in new positions can affect the way that kind of play feels. For example, if you’re having P-in-V (that’s penis-in-vagina penetrative) sex and your go-to is missionary, then you flip the script to try doggy style, you may find that you’re getting more pressure against the G-spot than you did when you were on your back. If you’re enjoying some oral and you pop a positioning pillow under your booty, it can help to open up your hips and give your partner more access to dive in and move their head between your thighs. 

Boost communication

From pitching the idea of experimenting with positions to talking your way through slotting your bodies together in the way that works best for you, trying anything new requires communication to make sure you’re getting it right. This is an opportunity to tell your partner out loud what sensations you like, what fantasies you have, what feels good and what doesn’t, and apply it to the ways you play together.

How do I start exploring new positions?

First and foremost, communication. Let your partner know that you’re interested in trying something new, and chat about what turns you on. If you’re thinking of switching things up in the heat of the moment, make sure that you still check in with your partner and get that enthusiastic consent before flipping them over without warning.

Hit the books or play a game

There are so many incredible resources out there that are filled with ideas for new positions - like books with illustrated diagrams, and games that prompt you how to move (and no, I’m not talking “right hand blue” kind of games). You can use these tools as ice breakers and shuffle through the options together before hopping into bed and see what piques both of your interests, or you can be spontaneous and grab a deck of positioning cards or sex dice to let the fate of a random shuffle or roll decide what position is on the menu that night.

Switch up the location

If your go-to position is laying down, move from the bed to the couch to explore a seated position instead. Get creative in a smaller space like the shower and let the sensation of the water add something new alongside your position (just be safe and make sure you have something to grip). Try having sex against the wall or against a door, on the countertop in the kitchen, on the dining room table, on the floor, in the backseat of your car - wherever inspires you and requires you to move your body in a new way to accommodate the space.

Add some props

Positioning tools and toys can help inspire creativity when it comes to new positions. Positioning pillows can help to elevate and open our hips or support our body weight so you can lean on the pillow instead of putting pressure on your own body. Slings and swings can allow for more creativity with positioning since you’re elevated and suspended in the air rather than playing on a surface like a bed. Limiting movement can be a fun way to explore as well - using restraints to anchor your body to the bed or re-shape our positions like with a hog tie. 

Small adjustments can make a big difference

You don’t have to be an Olympic gymnast to explore new positions. While there are plenty of positions that do require some physical strength and exertion, something as simple as shifting where your weight is can change the entire dynamic. Try putting your weight on your knees or hands instead of your back, loop your arm around your partner’s back to pull into them as you move, or prop a leg up on a shoulder to get a good stretch and open up for deeper penetration. The way you move can be a great factor in this as well - for example grinding down instead of thrusting up can feel super unique even if you’re still in the same position.

What if it isn’t working?

Not all bodies are shaped the same, not all bodies move in the same ways, and - most importantly - not all bodies react the same to different types of stimulation. If a position isn’t working for you, make adjustments to suit what’s the most comfortable for you and your partner - this is why communication is key.

There might be some fumbling and awkward moments - barely anyone is a master at everything they try on the first go, and trying new sex positions is no exception. Allow yourselves to laugh if you need to - there’s a reason we use the word “play” in this field, and remembering that sex doesn’t need to be serious is a great way to let yourself loosen up and let go of nerves that can hold us back from being present for our pleasure in the moment.

If something isn’t working, if you don’t like something, if a certain move is uncomfortable or out of your range - it’s okay to stop and try something different instead. Even if you don’t look exactly like the tantric diagram models in the Kama Sutra, you can still use them as a suggestion to inspire you for new creative ways to play. Nobody knows your body better than you do, so tweak and adjust and explore as much as you want. There’s no rules when it comes to how you should and can position your bodies during sex as long as everyone is enjoying themselves.