Everything You Need to Know About the P-spot
What is the prostate?
The P-spot - or, as it’s better known, the prostate - is a gland in the reproductive system of people assigned male at birth / folks with penises. It produces a component of semen - known as prostatic or prostate fluid - that contains enzymes and other elements that help to create an ideal environment for sperm and to make semen thinner and more fluid. The prostate also can help to push semen through the urethra during ejaculation.
In terms of pleasure, the prostate is surrounded by nerve endings which respond to stimulation in a way that a lot of people find sexually pleasurable and even orgasmic!
Where to find the prostate, and how to access it
To access the P-spot through the back door during anal play, you’ll want to feel about 2-3 inches in, through the anal canal and towards the front wall of the rectum. When the body is aroused, the prostate gland will swell up, making it a lot easier to find, as it will feel different from the other tissue of the anal walls.
Let’s get into it.
Anal lube
First things first, lubricant is a must for any kind of anal play. Not only will it make everything feel more pleasurable, but it will also significantly cut down on friction and prevent discomfort or injury like tearing or fissures.
Water-based lubricant is a great option for any kind of play, since it’s compatible with any kind of toy material as well as safer sex barrier materials like latex condoms. Water-based lubes are easy to clean and come in all different consistencies, and some even have added ingredients like aloe vera to help hydrate and moisturize the body as you play. A downside to water-based lube is that it isn’t as long lasting as other lubes may be, so you won’t wanna be shy about re-applying when you want or need more. If you want to really make sure your lube is getting as deep as you want for anal play, try using a lube launcher or lube shooter.
If you’re playing body-to-body, like using fingers or a penis, or if you’re using a hard material toy like steel or glass to stimulate the prostate, a silicone-based lubricant can be a right choice. Many silicone lubes are slicker than water-based lubes, and they are longer-lasting as well. While silicone lube is also safe to use with barriers like latex, not all silicone toys are compatible with silicone lube, so always check out your toy’s instruction guide or just opt for water-based if you’re unsure.
Training the rectum
Start with a well-lubed fingertip, massaging the entrance and dipping the tip in slowly to see how you feel. Repeat this a few times to get accommodated, and then continue in further as your body feels comfortable. You can also use an anal training kit - a set of anal toys in graduating sizes - to do this over time, sizing up as you explore.
For even more on anal training (and how to do it) - check out our blog here.
Prostate play techniques
Once you’re all prepped, relaxed, lubed up, and ready to play - what next? There are many ways to stimulate the prostate, so feel free to explore, mix and match different techniques, and see what your body and your P-spot love best!
Spoiler alert: a lot of these tips and techniques may sound very similar to what you’ll hear for stimulating the G-spot - in fact, the prostate is also known as the male G-spot (though we don’t gender body parts here, that’s why we just call it the P-spot instead). The location of the P-spot in the rectum is very comparable to the location of the G-spot in the vaginal canal - towards the front wall, about 1-3 inches in, and it responds well to firm rhythmic stimulation. Love it!
Fingering techniques
Try these techniques for using your fingers:
Come hither: You may have heard of this classic move for G-spot play, and it works incredibly for the P-spot as well. With your well-lubed finger inside the anus, aiming the direction towards the belly button, gently curve your finger in a motion like you would move your finger to beckon someone to come to you, or “come hither.” Keep repeating the motion, experimenting with speed and pressure as you curl into that hot spot.
Doorbell: Using only the pad of your finger, add pressure against the P-spot, like you’re ringing a doorbell. You can change it up with different pressure, or add in an up and down motion to massage as you press. Who knows… maybe an orgasm will answer the door.
The dip: Insert your finger, and then as you slowly pull it back out, curl your finger into the front wall to graze against the P-spot as you remove it (either part of the way or fully, up to you) and repeat. Not only will this stimulate the prostate, but the exiting and entering motion will help to stimulate all of the erogenous nerve endings that surround the rim of the anus as well.
Toys for stimulating the prostate
While our bodies are incredible tools for pleasure, using a prostate toy can really help to level up your play - by adding sensation like vibration for extra prostate massage, by helping us to access the P-spot solo without having to reach around our bodies the whole time, and by providing texture and new ways to stimulate that our bodies simply can’t do on their own.
Vibrating prostate massagers
Vibrating prostate toys can come in many forms, like vibrating butt plugs, vibrating dildos, handheld vibrators, and even thrusting vibrators! Just make sure that your vibrator is anal-safe, meaning that it has a flared base that remains anchored outside of the body, before you let it enter the back door.
Strap-on dildos
Ever heard the term “pegging”? This popular sex trend is the nickname for strap-on anal penetration, and it’s a great way to enjoy prostate sex if your partner doesn’t have a penis, or doesn’t have an erection when you want to play this way.
Dildos can come in a variety of textures and sizes - a smooth dildo is easy to insert and great for beginners just getting used to back-door penetration, while a textured dildo can add extra sensation as the ripples, beads, or bumps rub against the P-spot with each thrust. Just don’t forget that extra lube!
You can also enjoy dildo play solo - any dildo can be used as a hand-held toy, and there are even dildos with suction cups that you can stick onto a chair or wall to back yourself up on and enjoy some hands-free play - or to put those hands to use elsewhere, like pairing your booty play with a handjob or using a masturbation sleeve for stimulation of double the hot spots.
Anal beads
Anal beads are all about sensation, and are great for prostate explorers of any level. Anal beads are a set of graduated spheres attached together, commonly in a string-like formation or stacked one on the other, that you can insert one at a time to allow your booty to warm up as you play. As the beads are entering and exiting the body, they give a sort of pop sensation that can feel great against the nerve-rich rim of the anus as well as the P-spot.
Try putting in a set of anal beads before enjoying penis stimulation - whether that’s manual, with a toy, or having partnered sex - and then remove them (slowly, you’re not starting a chainsaw!) as you’re about to reach orgasm to level up that climax to a blended full-bodied sensation. (Blended arousal and orgasm = stimulation of two erogenous areas at once for twice the nerves and double the pleasure.)
Butt plugs
Many prostate-focused butt plugs are designed with a curve to them to target the pressure towards the front wall of the rectum, where that P-spot is located. Some will even have an elongated base that adds pressure or vibration against the perineum - aka the taint, the area between the anus and the balls - so that the P-spot can be stimulated externally as well as internally.
Some prostate plugs have a base that’s shaped with a handle or curve so that you or a partner can manually rock the toy into the P-spot - like the Njoy Plugs, or the Aneros plugs which are designed with a Kundalini inspired base that provide targeted pressure to the perineum and other hot-spots as well.
The benefits of prostate orgasms
They feel great
Remember how I mentioned that the prostate is sometimes referred to as the anal G-spot? Well, just like the G-spot on folks with vulvas, many folks with a prostate can reach orgasm through stimulation of the prostate, and say that those orgasms can give more of an intense, full-bodied sensation in comparison to orgasms achieved through penis stimulation alone.
Some folks can reach orgasm through prostate stimulation by itself, while others enjoy pairing it with penis stimulation for a deeper sensation blended orgasm, not unlike someone with a vulva getting off by stimulating the clit and G-spot at the same time.
Prostate milking
Prostate milking is the act of massaging the prostate until prostatic fluid - which is milky in look and texture, hence the name - is released. Not only can prostate milking feel super pleasurable, but it may have health benefits, too.
A quick note: While you're exploring prostate milking (or any other way of stimulating the prostate) - even if you're really enjoying it and things are feeling super pleasurable, your erection may come and go, or not happen at all. This isn't something to be concerned about! In fact, it's pretty common: it's thought that this may happen because of blood flow being redirected towards the rectum and prostate, the focus of stimulation at that moment. Try pairing some stimulation on the penis as well to help drive the blood flow back to that area, or just put all that focus into the power of a booty-only orgasm!
Health Benefits*
- May help improve erectile function by helping to clear the prostatic ducts
- May help improve urine flow by relieving prostate swelling that can put pressure on the urethra
- May help to prevent discomfort during ejaculation caused by fluid blockages
Are there risks to prostate massage?
Any physical activity can have risks if not done properly. Anal sex can lead to injuries like fissures or tearing if done with too much force or too little lubrication, which is why it’s so important to make sure that the body is relaxed and aroused before insertion, why you should always start slow and small and work your way up to penetration with larger tools (or more fingers), and why using a good-quality lubricant is so essential.
Prostate infections
If you have acute bacterial prostatitis, talk to your doctor before exploring P-spot massage, since putting too much pressure on this area while experiencing inflammation from this condition may have an adverse effect, and could potentially spread bacteria to other areas of the body. Any health condition related to the prostate is a reason to confer with a sex-positive doctor before engaging in anal/prostate play.
If you have fissures or hemorrhoids, a prostate massage could cause irritation and potential bleeding, which can increase the risk of infection.
Inserting toys that are not anus-safe
Flared base: This means that the base or handle of the toy is significantly larger or wider than the insertable portion of the toy, like the saddle of a butt plug or the base of a dildo. Without a flared base to anchor the toy outside of the body, the rectal muscles can pull the toy too deep into the body to safely get out without medical help. Even if a toy has a retrieval cord or string attached, you still need that flared base, since the cord can just as easily get lost in the body.
Non-porous and body-safe materials: For hygiene purposes, you want to make sure that your toy is super easy to clean and doesn’t have the ability to harbor bacteria inside the material that could cause irritation or infection. Stainless steel, glass, silicone, and ABS plastic are all examples of body-safe sex toy materials that are non-porous and can be cleaned easily using mild soap and water. Always clean your toys after you use them - check out our guide to cleaning your toys here for more info.
Smooth and unbreakable: Never insert a toy or other object that is sharp, rough, scratchy, easily breakable, or anything that has a piece that may detach inside of the body.
Comfort
For this same reason, we never recommend using numbing creams or sprays - you never want to push your body further than it’s able to go with play like this, and so having all of those receptors remain ready is important to knowing that you’re playing safely. On top of that, prostate play can feel incredible - so why would you want to deny your body all of those amazing sensations and pleasure?
Get exploring
Whether you’re interested in prostate play for pleasure, for health, or simply to try something new - exploring through the back door can be an incredible way to introduce a world of sensation into your sexual routine, solo or with a partner. Dive in, explore, and enjoy!
*Disclaimer: The content provided in this blog post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice and/or consultation. Please consult directly with a medical professional for any concerns and advice.
